If you say yes to something or someone, then do it with your whole heart with a good attitude and without resentment. A yes done with resentment, under obligation, or sending a guilt trip to the person you have said yes to, isn’t really a yes. It’s really a no that says; “I don’t have enough courage to follow my heart and say no, so I’ll say yes in fear I’ll be judged, miss out, hurt peoples feelings, look bad, fall short of others expectations or disappoint”.
Another reason our no’s become yes’ is because we might not want to deal with peoples sometimes unpleasant reactions to our no’s. You might be a person who is known for saying yes and people have taken advantage of you. Sometimes it’s “easier” to keep the peace you might think. Let me tell you, you aren’t in anyway shape or form “keeping the peace” if you have to mask your no’s as yes’. You are denying the worth of your own heart and are setting yourself up for a bitter root.
On the flip side, be accountable for your yes’. You might know the right thing to do in a given situation is say yes, but your selfish flesh is struggling with it. Then do it with your whole heart and a good attitude. I found myself saying yes to a request my daughter asked of me. I didn’t want to do it at all! I was exhausted and spent. But I knew I should do this thing for my daughter, it was the right thing to do, I knew that, but my heart was struggling with how I was feeling. So I was really annoyed while saying yes. She could feel that, and it wasn’t pleasant for her. I felt Holy Spirit nudge me and say, let your yes be yes. You see, I said yes to her but with every vibe and action I was saying no. I felt pressured by her, I thought, I’m annoyed right now, I don’t want to be doing this. But my heart knew it was right to do.
We can wrestle in this place. That’s why the Lord says if you are willing and obedient you will eat the good of the Land (Isaiah 1:19). The Lord wants our willingness as we obey. There’s nothing worse than someone doing something for you begrudgingly. It’s awful being on the receiving end of that. So I just want to encourage you today, if you are feeling internally resentful doing something you have said yes to, do a heart thermometer check.
Are you saying yes because you don’t have the courage to honour your own heart? That’s not the “right” reason to say yes. I would challenge you to honour your heart and say no. The thing is if you can’t honour your own heart you won’t have any boundaries, and if you don’t have boundaries you are continuing to send the message to people, that you have no value. People will only value you to the degree you value yourself. The more you are true to your heart the freer from the fear of man and judgement you will become.
On the other hand, have you said yes but your flesh is struggling with the self sacrifice of the yes. Then I challenge you to be willing in your yes, change your attitude, purpose and actions. Do a good job, don’t vibe, don’t manipulate, don’t guilt trip people. Be responsible for the conviction in your heart to say yes and follow through, unto man and unto God. Do it without winging, complaining, grumbling, and faultfinding, it’s called integrity and faithfulness. As you do this you will see that part of your flesh die and you will become free of yourself.
Either way you will become free, either of the fear of man or your selfish self lol.
So I encourage you today, let your yes be yes and your no be no. Selah.